Learning to trust at Swatara State Park


“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
Haruki Murakami

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As I walked miles, upon miles, at Swatara State Park, I thought about the past, present, and what I want for the future. It’s hard when you realize that the past is something you wish you could go back and change.

When I arrived at the park, I was at a different entrance and I traveled to two other entrances to the park, until I found the one that I knew would lead me to water, where I wanted to create photographs today. It made me think about the people who have entered my life, and who I’ve given my attention to at one point or another.

I never really considered the goal, or the reason why a person may be right or wrong for me to associate myself with, I just figured that a person came into my life for a reason.

That’s all. I never gave more thought, until, that is, the person who I was giving my time and attention, didn’t seem to care. As I reflect back on the years I spend devoting my time to others, it was at the sacrifice of my own ambitions.

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As I walk in the park, after finding the right place to park, I find my way to the place I wanted to photograph, in a short period of time. And it’s then that I realize that I did what I needed to do to get to the right place. I searched, and trusted in myself, and then I found what I was looking for and more. I also trusted others as I asked for additional directions, and continued on the trail. Asking for directions is something I never do. I always want to find my own way, and figure it out myself. But I learned that it takes me twice as long when I do it my way. So now, I ask someone.

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I know that I can make it on my own, and although I wish I had someone to share the journey, I am learning that the right person will be there when I need them.

It’s still difficult, I’m not going to lie. I enjoy the smell of the trees, the fresh air, and the feeling of sitting near the falls with the water’s sound as it flows through rocks, walking alone and listening to audio books to help me better understand myself and others in the world.

I just hope one day that I can make a difference in the world. That’s the one thing that has never changed. I’ve always wanted to leave this world better than when I arrived.

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All photos from my trip can be found HERE

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